Moving Forward, Today Is A Gift

I, oh, so love this movie.

My wife and I recently separated, as such, it is a topic that people I run into actively (and usually awkwardly) avoid or it’s the first thing they ask me about, these people are either gushing their love and support repeating that everything will work out like some sort of cult chant that they expect me to join in on in order to keep me from throwing myself off the top of a building and down to the streets below, or they simply want all the dirty details. Sometimes these people want both.

The detail desirers are generally disappointed as I only share the most basic aspects of the separation, if I share any. The others only seem to become mollified, to some degree, if I actually do repeat that “everything will be okay,” and so I do, not for me, but for them. They feel better that way. I already know things will turn out, I know that I’m where I’m supposed to be right now and that I’m doing what is needed.

I’m not saying that there aren’t days that are harder than others, or days where I don’t feel utterly alone despite being surrounded by family. My life has taken on a drastic change, this is normal and I recognize that. I also know that nights are worse, because generally speaking, night is when you actually are alone in bed with nothing but your tired mind and your own thoughts and all the what ifs.

But I can’t focus on the what ifs, not the ones that concern my past. The things that have happened have already happened, life becomes simpler and more enjoyable once you can accept that fact and move on. That’s what I’m trying to do. Move forward. Move on. Remembering is okay, dwelling on the past, isn’t. What ifs hold you back, I want to move forward.

I don’t want to be stuck living in my past because living in my past will make me miss the present and I very much want to be living and experiencing my present.

One of my favorite quotes is from DreamWorks Kung Fu Panda when Master Oogwei says, “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present,”

It’s a very true and very wise statement.

Today is a gift.

What will I do with it?

What will you do with it?

I want to live my dreams. Some of those dreams feel a little out of reach at the moment, others feel very out of reach but I’ll keep striving to accomplish those dreams so long as they don’t interfere with my child’s well being.

Everyone I talk to seems to feel like I should be depressed, stressed or angry. It seems I’m expected to be having a hard time and to be negative and hating life.

I don’t.

I love life. I want to enjoy it. Just because I’m separated and in the process of a divorce doesn’t mean I can’t do that. That doesn’t mean things are easy, because they aren’t. Change generally isn’t.

But I really can’t complain about my life and at the moment I don’t want to. I have a wonderful family and a beautiful child. I’m working on making my dreams come true so I can do what I love and support myself while I do. I’m fighting to be able to support myself and my son right now.

I’ll keep fighting and I’ll keep moving forward and I’ll continue to focus on those silver linings in the storm clouds for the very simple reason that I want to live and enjoy living. So I’m choosing to enjoy it.

How about you? How are you using today? Do you find that in hard times you can enjoy life? Can you continue moving forward? If so, how do you go about it? Do you have any suggestions for others who find it’s harder to do so? For those of you who don’t or can’t, what gets in the way? What holds you down during times like these?